Wine women song

Oct. 04, 2002

You lose your senses when you're drunk. A few people lose their virginities. A lot suddenly lose all inhibition and think they are the greatest lovers or the best singers when, inebriated, they have trouble getting it up. The microphone too. Makes for a ton of laughs. Step into a karaoke bar and you'd hear new lyrics to old favorites. Listen in on 'hired help' and they have stories of men knocking on the wrong door. Getting drunk is fun? Well, discovering you're home on your bed and unharmed but sporting a gargantuan headache when the last thing you remember is trying to stand up from where you were seated in the bar after downing a keg is kind of magical. And a suddenly expansive vocabulary is farcical-- if what you just said wasn't a real word, it should be, you murmur under dead-fish-smelling breath.

I've been drunk once. After half a liter of gin, I was on my back. That wasn't good I later found out. Not that I lost my virginity. Damn! My dinner wanted out. And I was babbling, telling my friends I loved them and asking them if they loved me too. Well, I wasn't really really drunk. It was a ploy to get to say I love you to a close friend. Was I bad? Regurgitated food is, I can tell you that.

Oh! And you have heard of jokes about women looking much better to your sullen eyes after a couple of rounds. Be careful. It's widely known juniors spring from rhum and vodka and beer. I mean offspring. You had a condom on? Which finger? Try the remote. And if nothing happened, no one will believe you anyway. Use it to promote your machismo? Have you no shame? Right, you're drunk.

Drinking occasionally is ok, I guess. At parties, it's ok to drink then. Just don't tell me you go to parties everyday. Every other day? Get rehab. Or try iced tea. Long island. Just don't get drunk. Too much. And don't get on with drugs. It's always better when you're conscious of what you're doing or what's happening around you because then you won't get played. You won't put just anything in your mouth. And nothing icky or stupid will pour forth from it either.