Romance in three worlds
Nov. 11, 2001
In this practical world, romance flounders. To actually see one sincere case would probably bring me to tears. For by definition, it is usually short-lived and champions an idealised love, an unusually high endeavor, and could be graphically represented nowadays by the blinking lights that adorn the pubs and bars where short-time, non-committal, primarily physical love is brought to fore. Meanwhile, being the sub-culture that it is, the virtual world inherits the characteristics of its parent except, in this world, the modem lights do the blinking and romance can be measured by how much time one spends online. Romance flourishes like unsorted garbage-- it's everywhere, in the crannies of the wired world, but like any other possession, is discarded for newer, hotter eye-candy. Only in dreams, hopes, and our imaginations does romance last and remain true.
There are so many couples who have remained faithful and loving throughout their relationships. But it's alarming how much there are too of relationships borne out of shallow situations. But who's to say a situation is shallow or otherwise? Given that a couple would work on it, the relationship can grow into something beautiful and rewarding. And yet it's uncomfortable to exert so much effort into something you should be enjoying more. Putting in the effort now will necessitate accounting for it later. And that is totally unromantic. But by that time, the love would have flitted away anyway. No discussion on consciously ephemeral love-simulations.
Speaking of which, we log on to the virtual world. X is smitten with Y and they chat and they become lovers and they meet and they could continue being lovers. Then again, they may not. Computers and the internet may have been designed to aid humans in their work but for it to be used in aid of being human, in feeling, in working with human emotions, may be letting it do too much. Our bodies have their own electrical circuitry to detect and transmit romance. We should use it properly. A few would still insist that romance in the virtual world is possible. But is it crash-free?
Nothing lasts, one can argue. Love should. The problem lies in our being so conscious of everything else that love has no chance to survive and last. Romance is diminished to activities in getting something we desire -- a physically attractive partner to flaunt, financial stability, etc... --preferences. And then we try to learn to love. We try to manipulate love into being. It's so much more complicated than the i-like-you-hope-you-like-me-too-let's-make-it-work maxim; but it works, too. That has been working for the longest time and the general populace has been none too bright to notice that we all have come to accept a lower standard because it's difficult to reach for the higher one. It's become alright to learn to love someone we like, someone we could live with, someone we could lose eventually. Rather than stay alone. We dream of a true love, we hope for the one who completes us, we imagine the love who may not be what we want but is mysteriously still the one true cannot-emphasize-enough real love that is meant for us.
And then we settle for something else. It's enough, we say. It's still love, we defend. The sex is good, by the way. It's alright. Just tragic.
In this practical world, romance flounders. To actually see one sincere case would probably bring me to tears. For by definition, it is usually short-lived and champions an idealised love, an unusually high endeavor, and could be graphically represented nowadays by the blinking lights that adorn the pubs and bars where short-time, non-committal, primarily physical love is brought to fore. Meanwhile, being the sub-culture that it is, the virtual world inherits the characteristics of its parent except, in this world, the modem lights do the blinking and romance can be measured by how much time one spends online. Romance flourishes like unsorted garbage-- it's everywhere, in the crannies of the wired world, but like any other possession, is discarded for newer, hotter eye-candy. Only in dreams, hopes, and our imaginations does romance last and remain true.
There are so many couples who have remained faithful and loving throughout their relationships. But it's alarming how much there are too of relationships borne out of shallow situations. But who's to say a situation is shallow or otherwise? Given that a couple would work on it, the relationship can grow into something beautiful and rewarding. And yet it's uncomfortable to exert so much effort into something you should be enjoying more. Putting in the effort now will necessitate accounting for it later. And that is totally unromantic. But by that time, the love would have flitted away anyway. No discussion on consciously ephemeral love-simulations.
Speaking of which, we log on to the virtual world. X is smitten with Y and they chat and they become lovers and they meet and they could continue being lovers. Then again, they may not. Computers and the internet may have been designed to aid humans in their work but for it to be used in aid of being human, in feeling, in working with human emotions, may be letting it do too much. Our bodies have their own electrical circuitry to detect and transmit romance. We should use it properly. A few would still insist that romance in the virtual world is possible. But is it crash-free?
Nothing lasts, one can argue. Love should. The problem lies in our being so conscious of everything else that love has no chance to survive and last. Romance is diminished to activities in getting something we desire -- a physically attractive partner to flaunt, financial stability, etc... --preferences. And then we try to learn to love. We try to manipulate love into being. It's so much more complicated than the i-like-you-hope-you-like-me-too-let's-make-it-work maxim; but it works, too. That has been working for the longest time and the general populace has been none too bright to notice that we all have come to accept a lower standard because it's difficult to reach for the higher one. It's become alright to learn to love someone we like, someone we could live with, someone we could lose eventually. Rather than stay alone. We dream of a true love, we hope for the one who completes us, we imagine the love who may not be what we want but is mysteriously still the one true cannot-emphasize-enough real love that is meant for us.
And then we settle for something else. It's enough, we say. It's still love, we defend. The sex is good, by the way. It's alright. Just tragic.
Labels: A musing
posted by jaybeecc @ Wednesday, May 10, 2006
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